CRUISE AGAINST INANITY
APRIL 7-14, 2018
Dates: 7-15 April 2017
Ship: Royal Caribbean’s Anthem of the Seas
Itinerary: Sat: Depart Cape Liberty , NJ; Sun: at sea; Mon: Port Canaveral, FL;
Tue: Cococay; Wed: Nassau; Thu-Fri: At sea, Sat: Return.
THE PROBLEM IS
CRUISES ARE INANE
(in·ane /iˈnān/ adjective: silly; stupid)
Think about it. The ship we’re going on has the following: An amusement park with bumper cars, roller rink, and a school that teaches the trapeze arts. A climbing wall. Stationary sky diving. A Flow Rider wave pool so you can learn how to surf. Something called a “Puzzle Break” which they pitch as a “brain-draining race against the clock.” Something called a “North Star” that is like a ski gondola on a big arm that lets you look down on the ship as if you weren’t on it. A Kid’s Camp so you can ditch the rugrats. A whole bunch of shows and food options that are all included in the really low price. It’s enough to drive you to drink, which is how they they make up the money they lose giving you all that other stuff. That, and the art auctions, casino, and Bingo (which is really inane).
INANITY IS THE PROBLEM
YOU ARE THE SOLUTION
Our solution to the “Inane Cruise” problem is to invite interesting people and ask them to spend 15 minutes being interesting. On the days at sea we will have meeting rooms were you can give a “show and tell” presentation about something that interests you. And, of course, you can attend other people’s presentations.
You might talk about a hobby, a favorite book, a secret passion, or little-know facts about the industry you work in. Or, you might not like making presentations, in which case you might want to just walk around being interesting in a low-key kind of way.
Now, please take this brief test to see if it is worth your time to continue.
DO YOU QUALIFY TO JOIN US?
(Take this simple survey to find out.)
If you said “yes” then, congratulations,
you are qualified to join us and
get our special group rates and other benefits.
Special Group Rates
(includes all taxes, fees, and port charges)
Inside: $749.00* per person
Outside Balcony: $894.00* per person
Unique Group Benefits
- $50 on-board credit at the shops (per cabin)
- Two Official high quality Cards Against Inanity decks (a $40 value).
- Access to all CAI exclusive talks and events,
- Invitation to our sailing day “gift exchange” party.
- Our magic “I’m more interesting than Bingo” button.
To book with us contact our travel agent, Marta Anicic at World Genesis, Inc. any time day or night. Call her at 212-944-2121 ext. 2488. You can learn more about her company and contact her by going here. She can address all your needs. If you need a bigger cabin than what we’ve reserved she can accommodate you, and if you want to find something even cheaper than our low-low rates then she might be able to find something inside much lower in the ship or a balcony with an obstructed view.
You Got Questions, We Got Answers
Can I book with you if I don’t care about your group but just want to take advantage of the lower rates and perks?
It is interesting you should ask that. The mere fact that you’d think of that makes you fairly interesting; certainly more interesting than bingo. So, yes, you qualify. To require you spend time with people you don’t know would be inane, and we’re against inanity. To try to save some money by taking advantage of our offer is merely to be sane, and we’re all for sanity.
Welcome on board.
How much time do I have to spend being interesting?
As much or as little time as you want. We’ve blocked out group tables for dinner but you are under no obligation to sit with the same people. In fact, there are so many dining options on the ship, it is expected that after the first night most of our group will be exploring other dining options.
If you want to be interesting in front of others then sign up to give a talk. It can be as short as 15 minutes or as long as 30. You can tell us in advance, in which case we’ll have you speak early in the cruise, or you can wait until you board to think about whether you want to say something and have plenty of time to prepare.
To help you manage your interactions, we’ve come up with our magic “I’m more interesting than Bingo” button. When you are happy to be interesting you put it on, and when you want to go incognito and blend in with all the other inane cruisers then you just take it off. Pure genius, if we say so ourselves.
What is the “gift exchange party”?
By tradition, on the first night we all eat dinner together at the early seating and those who want to exchange gifts. Bring five nice gifts, but please don’t buy anything new if you don’t have to. People bring gifts such as favorite books, board games, coffee mugs, etc. Bring something nice but inexpensive; ideally something that you already own but don’t use. If you are a book author then bring copies of your book, and if you are giving a talk then bring something relevant to your presentation.
When you first arrive, drop the gifts at the cabin of your group leader. They will then put together random bags of all different gifts from all those collected. At dinner you will get a collection of random gifts and you’ll have the whole cruise to swap with others if you don’t want what you get. Label the gifts you bring with your name and cabin number so people know who to thank. (If you can’t find anyone who wants a gift you’ve received then return it to the group leader and they will return it to the person who brought it.)
When and where are the talks?
Talks will be held at scheduled times around the ship during mid-morning and mid-afternoon on days at sea. The only scheduled activities you’re likely to miss are ones where the cruise line tries to sell you something. Talks are typically either 15 minutes or 30 minutes in length.
What talks will there be this cruise?
The specifics are subject to change, and some speakers do not want their talks advertised in advance. In addition, even if you want to give a talk you don’t have to say what it is until after the cruise starts. Here are some sample talks:
Confessions of a Hedge Fund Manager. Few hedge funds actually hedge anything and they keep their strategies and even their existence secret. So, what are they exactly and what do they do. A retired hedge fund manager will tell you things he wasn’t allowed to say when he was working. Gift exchange: Five copies of Reminiscences of a Stock Operator.
Gamify Your Life. The great 20th century philosopher, M. Poppins, said: “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and ‘snap’, the job’s a game.” A game designer will show you how to make the hard stuff easy by making it fun. Gift exchange: Theory of Fun for Game Design
Gamify Your Business. Consumers want your products to not just functional but also fun. Employees want more than money, and even this cruise line your sailing on has made a game out of nearly everything, including it’s approach selling you the cruise. Learn how to improve your business with gamification. Gift Exchange: Five copies of The Gamification Revolution.
Terrible Time Management That Works. If time management isn’t a problem for you then skip this. Otherwise don’t. Gift Exchange: Five copies of The Art of Procrastination: A Guide to Effective Dawdling, Lollygagging and Postponing.
These are just a few of 10-15 talks you can expect to choose to attend. If there is a specific topic you want to have discussed then stand up, say what you want to talk about it, and then let’s discuss it.
What if I want to give a talk?
You can talk about anything regardless of whether you are an expert. We just have one rule: NO SELLING. If you want us to list your talk here then we will, but we won’t mention your name because we do not want you to use the fact that you are talking here to promote yourself. Only give a talk if it interests you and you want to share what you know with others. OK?
Use this form to let us know what you want to talk about.
How do I learn more about this ship?
Although you and we know you’re much more interesting than the ship, you might enjoy watching this video. It is created by a competing travel agent who wants you to give him your business, which is fine for all the other cruises you want to go on, but for this one you’ve got to call Marta at 212-944-2121 ext. 2488.
* The $749 inside and $894 balcony rates are the cost of the cruise only. Taxes, fees, and port expenses are an additional $$140.93. The cruise ship also recommends you prepay your tip and recommends a total of $94.50 to cover tips for your cabin steward, head water, waiter, and assistant waiter for your entire cruise.